Sunday, May 22, 2011

Ever hear of a bargain buy compact car in a speed's your chance

I dreamed that I was driving a remote controlled like car….only, I was in the actual tiny car cruising in a residential neighborhood with my ipod in, on my way to a Bible Study. As I’m cruising along some grass looking for my turn, I get stuck underneath this fence. Two old people come running at me and help me get out and they start yelling, “Do you realize what just happened?” “They kidnapped Tony Sporano (an influential Christian speaker, not the Miami Dolphins head coach), all because of you!” Apparently Sporano was chasing me on foot trying to offer me a lift, but I couldn’t hear em or see cause I was in the zone, then someone nabbed him.

Then things pick up…. I get back to cruising and turn down the proper street, I’m in my Mazda3 with my dad driving and there are people from my bible study all in the street being held hostage by some dudes. Suddenly 5 really whiny fast motorcycles appear behind us and start shooting. We weave our way through the hostages without hitting anybody and the chase is on! We speed our way through this residential neighborhood drifting corners, trying to juke these dudes behind us, all while being shot at, but we cant shake em. So we drive out to the main street. We’re unarmed so we’re searching the car for things to throw at them to knock em off their bikes and the first thing to go was an ash tray. We chunk it out, it slides across the pavement, and hits a dudes tire. He wobbled dramatically, but he recovered, DARN! (This chase felt like it went on for hours with a lot of intensity but without anything really happening) My dad eventually cut back through the residential area, tricked bikers one by one into going the wrong way or running into something. We eventually made it back onto the main drag without anyone following us and my dad tried to blend in with other cars by just going the speed limit. It worked, as a bunch of henchmen bikers flew right past us. So we make a turn into an alley and we think were in the clear…..nope, one guy happened to still follow us. We got out of the car, he off the bike and a showdown was about to ensue. This guy was covered in like those spiky things on brand new tires and he wielded like a blow torch sword. My aggie ring was apparently multi functional….it contained like a light saber (and it can get me a job). So we begin our epic duel: slash bang bip boom dodge bleakin bopper ching babooshka! I get the guy on the ground and I’m ready to punch him A LOT for trying to kill me, and then he turns his body into some sort of electric field. Everytime I punched him it felt like being shocked by a dog collar. I endured, and delivered a kidney blow with my elbow to end this guy and gain my freedom from high speed terror……and then I woke up. Not sure what happened to Sporano…

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Bears and that drama queen Dwight Howard

I dreamed that I somehow ended up in a giant igloo with bears, lions and other rabid animals trapped behind really thick ice walls that you could see through. As I stood in the middle with friends, they thought it really cool that behind each wall the bears were determined to dig through the ice to get a little human snack…..I on the other hand decided to sprint out of the igloo.

I dreamed that I was at some camp that had a really nice house/lobby to hang out in. I’m chillin in the dining room with some friends and Dwight Howard when I gotta use the restroom. So I go use the men’s restroom, do my biz (No I did not wet my bed in reality) and then exit. As I leave, Dwight Howard (7ft. NBA player) goes in, so I decide it would be fun to hide in this little nook next to the bathroom and jump out and scare him when he gets done. So I’m crouching tiger style getting ready to pounce, and I keep peeking around the corner…..finally, he comes out and before I can pounce he turns and sees me as he walks by…But it has the same effect cause he screams like a girl in terror, shirking away from me. So I get up and start laughing, but he isn’t amused at all and wouldn’t talk to me the rest of the day. Drama queen.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

On the run...with an inception twist....possibly

I dreamed that I was in imminent danger as I jogged through this office building. As I turned a corner, I was startled to see a bunch of people littering the hallway staring at me so I chunked some baby tomahawks in their general direction and ran away. I ran to a group of friends who were talking about some guy that tried to hurt some people in an office building. They were gathered around a computer and one of em said…..I bet we can find out who he is by using Google Earth. So they start zooming in on the site, and as they get closer, there is my grey jacket and my Rangers ballcap. They all squint and are like “that guy looks kinda familiar.” Then they zoom in on the face (I’m incredibly nervous at this point)…and their like, “that dude looks REALLY familiar.” So I take the initiative and say….”yeah, that guy kinda looks like me” (nervous laugh). They all turn and look at me without laughing, and then I take off running again. I’m convinced the government is onto me at this point. So I am suddenly in my old high school about to attend my former math class. I walk in the room, and I just know something is not right….besides the fact that the government is after me. So I sit down, and I realize I had traveled back in time. I was 7 years back in time throwing tomahawks and playing the fugitive. All I had to do was go to sleep and I’d wake up in the present. So let this sink in….I go to sleep in my dream, and then wake up in the present…..while still asleep in reality! What the heck? Wreaks of some incepting if you ask me….The only thing I remember from this “present” context was me helping some teacher move these two giant teambuilding wood plank skis where you strap your foot in and have to sync your movements with whoever is on board with you. So this teacher and I teambuilded our way out of the school to the parking lot….and then I woke up for real. 

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Marry into the royal family??? Psh... All you need to be is a taxi driver

I dreamed that my Nana applied for a taxi cab driver position for a royal family in an alternate universe. (take a second to let that sink in) This meant that she had to bring her whole family with her since once she accepted the job we all became royalty and our presence was required. She gets it and I get stuck in this alternate universe where the king is a Jewish businessman. The whole time I am steaming mad because I am stuck here forever and can no longer see my Dad or his side of the family. So I begin openly expressing my frustration to my Nana, a homeless guy on the street, and then I start raving to myself. Some wise sage that lived in this kingdom shared with me how to escape this universe, but I don’t quite remember the details. The next thing I knew, I was sprinting for a giant chain link fence covered in ivy that surrounded the castle. As I leapt over it, there was another fence that led to a giant wheat field. Apparently I had made arrangements with a horse that was jogging around the field waiting for me to jump on from the fence. So I went classic western style and jumped from the second fence onto the horse and rode off into the night to begin my quest for my original universe. And woke up. 

Sunday, April 24, 2011

AGGIE MEN'S BASKETBALL CHAMPS....but wait til you see how!

I dreamed that the Texas A&M Men’s basketball team was in the National Championship. I was watching this on T.V. at Sara’s house. I’m not sure who they were playing but they were being feisty all game long and with 11.5 seconds left the Aggies were down by two. They dribbled up court quickly and went for the tie with a quick two point shot. It clanked off the back of the rim, but Paul Pierce who happened to be playing for the Aggies this game got the offensive rebound. He rejected going for the tie and made his way out to the 3 point line. As he crossed it, Pierce did not bother to turn around, but instead threw up a backwards jumpshot with one hand, tossing it over his shoulder. It was like witnessing a HORSE shot in the biggest game EVER....or like seeing Roseanne play a lead role in Lord of the Rings. Painful to watch. As the ball is flying through the air, I’m thinking “STUPID SHOT, why didn’t you just put it back!”……. BUT THE BALL GOES IN!!! It took me seeing the replay for it to actually click. We were Men’s AND Women’s NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!! I screamed and maybe teared up a little and then woke up. 

Thursday, April 21, 2011

horses wearing top hats...

I dreamed that I was at my old house in Springtown. The one with 5 acres of land and lots of animals. But I was there present day while someone else occupied it. My Papa and Grandma were with me and we decided we were gonna take a magic carpet like ride, only slip and slide style along the ground through the land. So we hop on this small blanket and begin sliding/sledding uphill defying the laws of physics. It was quite fun dodging trees and goats, jumping a fence until we arrived at the horse stables. Walking around us were all kinds of horses wearing hats! And there was someone in the stables playing guitar to entertain us I guess, so I went outside to check it out and someone was playing the world’s smallest guitar (size of a quarter)…..then he backed away and I saw a real guitar behind him playing…..tricked me. A horse with a top hat trotted up to me to pet it, but the hat really put me on edge. They wore it so perfectly that I was terrified and woke up. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Speed monopoly always leads to The Kraken

I had a dream that one of my friends bought a personal helicopter and invited me and some other friends to go for a ride around our college campus. We sat like it was a motorcycle….only it flew…and was a convertible. We took the top off and rode up, around, and through campus freaking out students and teachers alike. We then went and jacked some ice cream and had a pow wow. My friend expressed his desire to make money off of this chopper but didn’t know how. The next day a student comes up and offers 40 bucks for a ride (ask and you shall receive!). So my friend gives her a ride. But while their up in the air a massive crowd begins forming ready to pay and get a ride. We were not going to get them all in that day so we decided to hold a “speed” monopoly tournament between various groups. I don’t know if this game actually exists, but the board was circular to start out with and as you bought property (with real money) you added extra spaces to the board. Soon though, word had spread to some bad guys that we had a chopper and a war began over control. Nightfall quickly descended and I found myself in a house with all the lights out creeping around. BANG, someone broke through the window and I sprinted through the hallway and out the nearest window. I climbed up onto the roof and made a phone call to Sara to tell her to get me out of here. As I’m on the phone a giant Kraken (Clash of the Titans version) begins making its way across the courtyard. I remain sitting completely still on the roof while Sara continues to tell me some story. There is a giant tree in the courtyard below that is kind of blocking the Kraken’s view of me, but I’m still ready to pee my pants and run. The Kraken begins licking through the tree collecting fruit…GROSS! Then another giant but not as giant as Kraken comes through an alley and begins talking Kraken strategy with the beast. While this is going on I whisper to Sara…..GET ME OUT NOW!!! And I wake up.