Sunday, May 22, 2011

Ever hear of a bargain buy compact car in a speed chase....here's your chance


I dreamed that I was driving a remote controlled like car….only, I was in the actual tiny car cruising in a residential neighborhood with my ipod in, on my way to a Bible Study. As I’m cruising along some grass looking for my turn, I get stuck underneath this fence. Two old people come running at me and help me get out and they start yelling, “Do you realize what just happened?” “They kidnapped Tony Sporano (an influential Christian speaker, not the Miami Dolphins head coach), all because of you!” Apparently Sporano was chasing me on foot trying to offer me a lift, but I couldn’t hear em or see cause I was in the zone, then someone nabbed him.

Then things pick up…. I get back to cruising and turn down the proper street, I’m in my Mazda3 with my dad driving and there are people from my bible study all in the street being held hostage by some dudes. Suddenly 5 really whiny fast motorcycles appear behind us and start shooting. We weave our way through the hostages without hitting anybody and the chase is on! We speed our way through this residential neighborhood drifting corners, trying to juke these dudes behind us, all while being shot at, but we cant shake em. So we drive out to the main street. We’re unarmed so we’re searching the car for things to throw at them to knock em off their bikes and the first thing to go was an ash tray. We chunk it out, it slides across the pavement, and hits a dudes tire. He wobbled dramatically, but he recovered, DARN! (This chase felt like it went on for hours with a lot of intensity but without anything really happening) My dad eventually cut back through the residential area, tricked bikers one by one into going the wrong way or running into something. We eventually made it back onto the main drag without anyone following us and my dad tried to blend in with other cars by just going the speed limit. It worked, as a bunch of henchmen bikers flew right past us. So we make a turn into an alley and we think were in the clear…..nope, one guy happened to still follow us. We got out of the car, he off the bike and a showdown was about to ensue. This guy was covered in like those spiky things on brand new tires and he wielded like a blow torch sword. My aggie ring was apparently multi functional….it contained like a light saber (and it can get me a job). So we begin our epic duel: slash bang bip boom dodge bleakin bopper ching babooshka! I get the guy on the ground and I’m ready to punch him A LOT for trying to kill me, and then he turns his body into some sort of electric field. Everytime I punched him it felt like being shocked by a dog collar. I endured, and delivered a kidney blow with my elbow to end this guy and gain my freedom from high speed terror……and then I woke up. Not sure what happened to Sporano…

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